


The Cat, The Cow, and The Coran

by Rxchello



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Asking Out Attempts, Cats!, Cows!, F/M, Fluff, Lance is a Meme, Mutual Pining, Pining Lance (Voltron), Protective Coran (Voltron), Season 8 Didn't happen FELLAS, Secretly Pining Allura, memefic, the couple getting what they DESERVE
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-18 10:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16992978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rxchello/pseuds/Rxchello
Summary: :It took Lance three attempts to ask Allura out. She didn't catch the hint the first two times.Finally he decided to go to -the man-. Only then would she realize what he was doing whether she liked it or not.Also, Lance has a pet cow and cat now.





	1. The Cat

**Author's Note:**

> @ Season 8: Thanks I'm tired
> 
> The title came from me yelling at my friend all I wanted to be preserved during the season--Kova, Kaltenecker, and Coran.
> 
> (I decided to not watch season 8 to protect my mental health so please don't tell me if any of these things died I'm GOOD)

It was love at first sight for Lance McClain.

From the second his eyes fell on the forest of delicate white curls that fell flawlessly down her back, the second he saw the flicker of mischief in her eyes. He knew he was going to fall for this girl and fall in deep, _ fast. _

He mustered up the courage to bring her into his friend group and hope for the best. They all attended the same high school, had similar interests, and all-in-all moved as a unbreakable unit. There was just the lingering problem that part of him wanted to be _ closer. _

To Allura, that is!

He gave the feeling a few months, seeing if it was just a burst of emotion due to loneliness or desperation. The longer he waited, though, the easier his intentions were to pick up on in his best friend's eyes.

"For the love of  _ god _ , Lance," Hunk groaned as they both sat in the mall food court. Allura was currently dragging Pidge through _ Victoria's Secret, _ determined to find something for them to both match in. The thought of Pidge carrying even the smallest of bags out of that sort was amusing to both men. "Just  _ ask her out _ already. Your eyes are literally going to roll out of their sockets and stick to her soon."

"Am I being _ that _ obvious?" Lance ducked his head under his arm, barely missing his plate of nachos with his elbow.

"You're obvious with whatever you're feeling," Hunk pointed out as he took a nacho off the plate. "But I don't quite think she's caught on yet. I think Keith was planning to tie you both to a tree soon until you confessed but Shiro went all "Dad-mode" and shut that down."

"Keith would do that for _ me? _ " Lance held a hand to his chest, the thought of the hot-head doing such a kindness for his longing heart overwhelming in itself.

" _ No, _ " Hunk's elbow hit their table enough to cause it to shake. "You're going to tie  _ yourself  _ to a tree. Or to her car. Or to her herself!" Hunk threw his hands in the air, mocking Lance's occasional mannerism. "Just  _ use your words. _ "Allura, will you go out with me?" Is it that hard to say?"

"What was that, Hunk?" A cheery accent startled them both, their eyes doubling in size as they screamed in unison.

"What was what?" Hunk quickly laughed off, eyes traveling upward to see Allura standing next to him, four bags hanging off her arms.

"I heard you say my name but you weren't looking our way." She nodded towards Pidge next to her, the shorter of the two holding a bag of her own with exhaustion radiating off her face.

"I was just uh," Hunk looked towards Lance who shook his head before stuffing his face with nachos. "Was wondering what was taking you guys so long. Clearly you found a good deal."

"Yes we did!" Allura shook her bags in the air, pouting when Pidge didn't join in. "Well, is there anywhere else you two would like to go? Or shall we head home?"

"I think I'm ready to head out." Lance sighed, edging the plate of nachos towards Hunk as he rose from his seat. Pidge shot Hunk a questioning look, an innocent hand raise enough for her to know she would find out later.

If she didn't know already.

"That's fine! I want to put these down anyway." Allura smiled at him gratefully.

"I'll take some, then." Lance took three of her bags and held them at his side, Allura immediately toting the remaining one between her hands.

"Thanks!" She beamed at him, Hunk tossing the unfinished nachos in the trash as the four of them headed back towards their car.

A shriek two shops from the exit caused them all to stop.

Well, three of them at least.

"Cats!" Allura was lingering in front of a pet store window, the display showing cats up for adoption in their cages. "Oh, I've always wanted one. Look at this one!" Lance wandered over and noticed a black cat pawing at the glass towards them. He felt his heart skip a beat at how cute it was, but then rapidly pick up as he noticed Hunk and Pidge kept walking.

"Guys!" He called, but it was too late. Hunk waved him off with a salute and exited the mall, Pidge sticking her tongue out as she followed suit.

"Oh, they kept walking?" Allura frowned then, watching the cat a moment more before turning on her heels. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have stopped. Let's catch up--"

"I'm the one driving you home, so as long as I'm here it doesn't matter how long you watch the little girl." Lance assured, bags dropped at his feet as he slid his hands in his pockets.

"But  _ you  _ don't want to stand here--"

"Don't worry about it, Allura.  _ Gush _ as much as you need to." He had to tease her a little to keep it from being awkward.

They spent another 20 minutes at the pet store, even going in to play with the black kitten she was fawning over. Lance wasn't afraid to admit he was in love either. The little girl clung to Lance's shirt, nibbling at his fingertips as he mewled and purred in content.

Lance couldn't get over the look of awe in Allura's eyes.

_ Hm. _

\---

He didn't care what anyone was going to stay. It  _ wasn't _ a stupid decision!

He wanted it too.

At least, that's what he kept telling himself as he watched the little ball of fur currently rolling around on the carpet in his living room.

" _ Hello? _ " He cursed when she answered. Sure, it was what he wanted, but his dumbass also decided calling twice was a good idea. It looked desperate.

"Hey Allura!" The enthusiasm was revealing. "Whatcha doing right now?"

" _ Just reading up on some mythology, _ " He heard her close a book. " _ Not much really. Did you need something? _ "

"Well, I sort of got something today I'd like to _ show _ you." He needed to learn how to choose his words better. "Do you want to come over and hang out? See it?"

" _ That would depend on what  _ **_it_ ** _ is. _ " Her voice revealed her skepticism.

"Don't worry. It's nothing you haven't seen before. You may have seen it _ recently,  _ even."

The line dropped dead and the sound of tires screeching in his driveway alerted him of her answer twenty minutes later.

"Well hello there, princes--" Lance started, the person waiting at the door blowing past him before he got a chance to finish.

"Where is i--!" Allura started, a squeal escaping her lips as she noticed the black ball of fur rolling around on Lance's couch. "You actually adopted the cat? I'm so jealous!"

"I couldn't resist those  _ eyes _ ," Lance smiled to himself as he remembered the look on Allura's face as she played with the kitten. "The cats’ eyes that is!" However Allura was fixated on tickling the kitten, only pausing to look at him with a raised brow.

"What other eyes would you be talking about?" The look on her face told Lance enough.

"I, uh--" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, cheeks pinking as she waited for an answer. "Mine! The reflection of them above the cat was  _ begging _ me to adopt her!"

"So you couldn't resist _ yourself? _ " Allura smirked as she watched the Cuban all-but combust at the question.

"Who could resist _ this? _ " Lance shot her a grin, running a hand through his hair and winking as she rolled her eyes and returned to that.

"So what did you decide to name her?" So much for holding that conversation.

"Kova," Lance walked over and gave the kitten a scratch on the head. "Narti was a cool name and all, but it didn't really fit. It sounded like they used a name generator." Allura laughed as Lance rested on the couch next to her.

Allura ended up spending more time with the cat than actually talking to Lance, so after an hour he faked exhaustion and walked off to his room. He knew he was going to have to use two face masks to recover from the amount of wrinkles brewing thanks to his constant frown while his face was smushed into his pillows.

He heard the front door close an hour later, finally sighing as he could leave his room. He didn't even have a chance to roll over, however, as in an instant his bedroom door flung open.

" _ Lance! _ "

_ Ah, shit. _

"Not right now, Keith--" But as he rolled over and noticed Keith's red-rimmed eyes, he shot up instantly. "What happened?"

"Why the hell is there a  _ cat _ in our living room?" Keith hissed, sneezing as he started to dial a number in his hands.

"I sort of adopted it because Allura thought it was cute at the mall and I wanted to make her happ--" Keith sneezing and holding the phone to his ear kept Lance from finishing.

"Shiro," Keith started, his voice sounding more strained than usual. "This dumbass bought a cat to woo Allura and now _ I'm _ the one dying." He sneezed again.

"Are you sick or something?" Lance asked, unable to hear Shiro's response.

"I'm  _ allergic _ to cats, jackass!" Keith stormed out of the room then, not stopping until he was outside and away from Kova.

_ Holy shit _ , Lance thought to himself, scrambling to grab his phone off the nightstand as he went to call Hunk.

He was too flustered to notice the two texts from Allura.

"Hunk!" Lance didn't have time for pleasantries. "Did you know Keith was allergic to cats?"

" _ Well, yeah _ ," Hunk spoke as if it was common knowledge. " _ Why's it matter though? It's not like you two have on-- _ " There was a pause, then a groan. " _ Lance, you didn't- _ "

"I did."

Lance curled in on himself as he listened to the laughter on the other end.

" _ And how'd that turn out for you?" _

"She paid more attention to the kitten than me!" Lance threw his hand in the air as if Hunk could see him.

" _ What did you expect? It was love at first sight for her, just as she was for you-- _ "

"Shut up!" Lance squeaked, the other man sighing.

" _ I told you to just use your words. _ "

"I thought using my _ furs  _ would be a better strategy!" He could feel Hunk shaking his head on the other end.

" _ As long as you don't use puns, you should be fine. _ "

They left it at that.

Keith ended up leaving too as he knew he would have to pry the kitten from Lance's cold, dead hands.

It was just Lance and The Cat.


	2. The Cow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strike two for Lover Boy Lance. Featuring Kaltenecker!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're continuing this recovery trip together friends!

Of all places, Lance never thought he'd find his nerve while on a trip with his squad at his family's _farm._

He owned all these animals already, so there was no need to adopt them to catch Allura's eye! As if that worked out for him the first time.

This time would be different! 

Shiro and Keith were being scolded by his mother for play-fighting in the chicken coop while Hunk was discussing pie recipes with his sister. Pidge was fixated on the family flower garden. Allura was wandering through the cow barn staring at the black-and-white mammals with childish glee.

It was like fate had set all of this up for him, and with an assuring nod from Hunk, Lance felt his feet taking off towards the cow barn before his insecurity could turn him around.

"Allura!" He called a little too enthusiastically, sliding over the muddy ground to a halt when he saw her scream and disturb a cow who was sleeping.

"Lance!" She mimicked his call, a scowl on her face. "Don't scare me like that! You made me wake," She looked up at the nameplates that were hammered above the stalls. "Kaltenecker up! I'm sorry little lady." She reached over the stall door and gave the cow a affectionate pat on the head, the mammal seeming unaffected by the theatrics occurring around her.

"She sleeps  _ all  _ the time," Lance assured as he reached around Allura to boop Kaltenecker on the nose. A gesture Allura couldn't help but crack a smile at. "Yet somehow manages to produce more milk than any of our other cows."

"Wouldn't that make sense if she's well rested?" A point Lance never considered until it came out of pastel-pink glossy lips.

"I  _ guess _ , but they also have to be awake to get milked or they'll send you flying across the barn." Lance laughed halfheartedly, the trauma of being kicked one-too-many times by a cow coming back to him and causing an imaginary pain in his chest. "I learned that the hard way with her. Cranky one." A overdramatic pout sat on his lips.

"How could a monotone animal abuse such a  _ performance _ of a person?" Allura gestured towards Lance, the Cuban at a loss for how to take such a statement.

"I ask myself that every time I come here," He laughed it off as nothing but a simple compliment, but why would Allura compliment him? In such an odd way, even? He shook his head and observed the timer resting against the stall, the ticking indicating it was time for Kaltenecker to do her job.

"Wanna see me milk a cow?" He was already in the stall and grabbing a bucket from the shelf inside before she had time to answer.

"You know how to milk cows?" Allura eyed him curiosity, as if the answer wasn't obvious judging by how comfortable Lance was with his surroundings.

"Well yeah," Lance tried not to laugh. "It's not like we acquired this farm yesterday. This was all I did before I started attending the Garrison."

"Okay then.” Allura conceded, never witnessing a cow being milked in person. She knew how it was done, but it couldn't have been too bad, right?

Less she forget  _ everything  _ is an event when it comes to Lance McClain.

"Alrighty then!" Lance made a show out of rolling up his sleeves, kicking a low stool towards the center of the cow. "You have to make sure they're awake first," Lance tickled the area around Kaltenecker's ear, smiling in accomplishment when she twitched at the interaction. " _ Then  _ you take a seat--" Lance lowered himself onto the stool, slapping his knees when he landed in the position he was satisfied with.

Allura could only stand in front of the stall wondering just what in the hell she let happen.

" _ And  _ begin!" And Lance started milking Kaltenecker, too distracted by his own chatting with the cow to realize he was performing for an audience of none. It's not like he talked in a baby voice to the cow on purpose--that's just what he's always done.

What he wasn't prepared for, however, was to see a completely different face when he finished his job.

"We could take this and go make milkshakes if you wan--" Lance rose from the stool and wiped his hands off, almost stumbling over the bucket of milk when he saw Hunk standing in front of the stall with a look of concern.

"What the heck are you doing?"

"Milking a cow?" Lance pointed at the bucket behind him. "Where'd Allura go? She said she wanted to watch me milk Kaltenecker--"

"She ran off the second you started and caused Kalty to moo in surprise." Was he really that extra when it came to milking cows?

_ Of course he was. _

"Where is she now?"

"I don't know, but I wouldn't chase her down. Might seem a little desperate?"

"I am desperate!" Lance gave Kaltenecker a kiss on the head. "Besides, Kalty needed to be milked anyway.”

"Well if you're trying to  _ milk  _ Allura," A third voice started, Lance's brother Marco strolling in at the perfect time to take a jab at the overdramatic Cuban. "That definitely wasn't a way to express your intentions."

"Shut up Marco!" Lance glared at the older man, disgusted by his implications.

"We can still make milkshakes if you want." Hunk offered, but Lance was already storming out of the barn with the bucket of milk in his hands.

"I can do it myself!"

All the two men could do was laugh the second Lance was out of earshot.

\---

"So are you waiting for this milkshake to somehow summon Allura, or are you planning to drink both of them by yourself?" Lance heard a voice tease from behind him as he sat on the roof of a shed across the farmland. He groaned as he felt a presence plop down next to him with the milkshake in his hands.

_ Keith. _

"You can have it, if that's what you're really asking."

"It wasn't, but I'll take it." Keith began to sip the sweet beverage as he took in the sight Lance was locked on. "Why are you out here anyway? We're all inside eating and here you are,  _ Lone-wolf Lance. _ "

"You act like I'm always Lone-wolfing it." Lance rolled his eyes as Keith flashed a whipped-cream covered smile.

"Nah, that's _ my _ thing." Keith ran a hand through his bangs. "You're just pouting like it's the end of the world because you squeezing utters scared Allura."

"Why did I think that was a good idea?"

"Because it was the only thing in that moment that you could do to impress her?" Keith reasoned, taking another sip before continuing. "As if milking a cow would impress  _ anyone. _ "

"I guess we could say "Weird flex but okay", right?" Lance joked, Keith deflating back onto the roof of the shed with a groan.

"I'm leaving." It was an empty threat on Keith's part.

"Yeah right." Lance then saw someone approaching the shed that caused him to choke on a mouthful of whipped cream.

"Trying to  _ court _ my man now too?" Shiro was exiting the cornfield, nodding towards the cups in both of the boys hands. Keith almost rolled off the shed laughing at such an unexpected comment from the most composed friend of them all.

"Shiro,  _ please-- _ " He tried, but Lance's exclamation drowned him out.

"All of you are dicks!" He stood high and mighty on the rooftop, Shiro and Keith looking at him with matching shocked expressions.

"We're just teasing, Lance." Shiro tried to calm Lance down as he helped Keith off the roof. "But come on. Your problem won't be solved by hiding out on a shed like this."

"Like it could be solved at _ all. _ "

"What is it that Hunk keeps telling you when you bring up how head-over-heels for Allura you are?" Keith questioned, a mischievous smirk on his lips that Shiro caught onto quickly.

" _ Don't  _ say it--"

" _ Use your words. _ " The couple said in unison.

Lance would leave the two of them at the shed as he stomped through the cornfields back towards his house.

That's two strikes on his list now.

The Cat, and The Cow. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moo bish, get out the WAY.
> 
> Don't ask why this happened just roll with it.
> 
> One last strike inc. ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still tired but I hope this will help everyone no matter what they're feeling <3
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
